From Reaction to Response: Leading With a Compass Word™

From Reaction to Response: Leading With a Compass Word™

There was a season in my professional life when I found myself in a quiet but constant state of frustration. I was working closely with a colleague who was consistently passive-aggressive. The micro-comments, the performative politeness, the strategic delays—it was all there. And at first, I did what most of us are taught to do: stay professional, rise above it, keep the peace. But over time, I noticed something deeper happening. Her behavior was starting to bleed into the team. The gossiping set in. Side conversations picked up. Tension became the undercurrent. And productivity slowed down. And here’s the hardest part to admit: I was contributing to it. Not intentionally. Not overtly. But in my frustration, my energy shifted. I was leading from reactivity instead of clarity.

Then one day, after another passive-aggressive interaction that left me seething, something clicked: "You’re not going to change her. You need to change how you show up."

That wasn’t a surrender. That was a strategy. Because this wasn’t someone I could avoid. We had to work together. And I had to find a way to lead myself through it, not around it. That’s when I found my Compass Word™: Grace. Not grace as in rolling over. But grace as in how I chose to respond. Grace as in holding my ground without holding a grudge. Grace as in leading with intention—even when the energy around me felt out of alignment.

From that moment on, whenever I felt triggered, I paused and asked myself two things:

1. Who do I want to be in the face of no matter what?
2. “What is the most graceful response I can have right now?”

Sometimes that meant addressing something directly but calmly. Other times it meant disengaging from the gossip or refusing to match her tone. Often, it simply meant anchoring back into my values before I spoke, emailed, or acted.

Grace didn’t change her behavior. But it changed mine. And as I showed up with more steadiness, others followed. The tone on the team started to shift. And slowly, the culture regained traction.

The Compass Word™ Practice

This is why I teach the Compass Word™ to every leader I coach. It’s not fluff—it’s a strategic anchor. One word that helps you lead from your center, especially when everything around you feels off balance.

Your word might be clear, steady, open, bold, disciplined, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, let it guide you.

Ask:

“What would it look like to lead from this word right now?”

Because leadership isn’t just about managing others.
It’s about managing your energy, your choices, your presence.

And sometimes, the most powerful shift begins with just one word.

Want help choosing your own Compass Word™? Join my group coaching circle July 29th, at 7:00 p.m. I will lead you through the process of finding your own personal Compass Word. 

Register Here

New Free Resource: The Compass Word™ Workbook.

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True Leadership Begins With Self-Leadership™—and it starts with you. 

Be bold. Be brave. Be audacious.